i went back to a bad habit today and i hit myself in the head. and i cant stop crying. ive cried on and off literally all day. everything just fucking hurts. the fact that we have to worry about having a house is going to hurt my family for years. years to come. and im not gonna graduate within a year, it’ll be at least two fucking years. and i dont get to be with my girlfriend unti lwe both graduate and get jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!! so basically my whole fucking life is on hold for a few fucking miserable years and i dont know if i can make it. im not that fucking strong. im not!!!!!!!!!! im not. 

id rather just give up on everything rather than see where this is going

its nnot so much to ask for a fucking hug every once in a while jesus FUckign christ, my needs are so fucking simple and yet they ar e never met b/c i cant get anything i want, and m y whole life is going down the tubes, and every section of my life is ass fucking backwards

i feel sick, and just , overwhelmed with how disgustin g i am, i need to hurt

i really wanna hurt myself

if i were at home alone i would probably be hurting myself

i need help lmao

sighs i wish i could just, say what i was thinking instead of sitting there thinking: thats dumb! what you have to say is dumb! your needs do not matter. b/c i KNOW my needs matter and i deserve to be heard but sdhgddfjlk its hard when u feel bad about, who you are. mgnfhfh tired of cryin about this.

i already feel like hitting myself urhgh i can feel , like, how i feel before. i get that way. mghdsjkldfs id rather just die than deal w/ any of this anymore (not literally) (im just done im so done)